Total Drama Ocean Cruise
by Gronk27
Summary: Forty teens embark on a Cruise That they have to run to win a million dollars. Great chapters, AWSOME characters, and as some may ask for, Chris. Disembark, prepare for drama, watch love flare! On Total. Drama. Ocean. Cruise.


Total Drama Ocean Cruise

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**Hey everyone! I know most of the fans that I've gained from Skylanders Tales of the dark ruins ate going "What another story! God this guy just can't stop starting them" and this time I have a perfectly logical explanation. I threw my computer out the window. Yes no lie. The thing deleted the entire The Roasting chapter for a update that gained them access to more pop ups. No lie! So now I'm waiting until the icy roads inbetween here and the nearest city clear up, cuze we have six feet of snow already! Anyway so I decided that since all my story skeletons are on my stick drive that I'd write a new one for you guys using this cool divice on my phone known as Notes. So what's better than creating 40 OC's and pitting them against one another for a million?**

**Enjoy my creation.**

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This chapter of TDOC contains extreme stunts performed by IMAGINARY teens, do not try any of what you read here, seriously you can get really messed up.

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**Disclaimer: I don't own the TD franchise or Chris and Chef, but I do own all 40 contestants.****  
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**Warning: this Chapter contains Idiots, rude language, a sexist, some mboooo violence, and some romance. Nothing over the top though.**

**Pairings: wait.**

**Alliances: wait.**

**Lets get this cruise started!**

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Chris Maclean stood on a large pier with a gigantic white cruise ship that had golden letters painted on the front thta read SS. Chris Is Really Hot behind him, he had a very bored expression on his face and kept glancing around as if looking for something.

"were rolling in five... Four... Three... Two... One!" yelled the director.

"Welcome to total drama, the show where a bunch of different teens are all placed in the same proximity of each other and we watch the drama flair!" Chris said suddenly cheerful. "but don't worry this won't ever get boring because I am certain that any teen will do anything for this prize. Yes I'm talking one million big ones!"

Chris then gestured to the cruise ship while saying. "Now like every season this one has a theme and that happens to be a cruise. Yes and I can already feel the old people perking up at this because seriously who doesn't want to go on a free cruise? And believe it or not we told them they're getting a free relaxing cruise, but what we didn't tell them is they're all working as the staff of the cruise. What a loophole."

"now as we normally have somewhere between fourteen and twenty two contestants we realized we'd need a lot more to run a cruise ship, cuze you know free staff. So we are having a whopping... Forty contestants!" yelled Chris pausing for effect. "twice the drama, twice the love, and twice the humiliation, stay tuned for all the action and excitement on Total! Drama! Ocean! Cruise!"

"and someone bring me my comb! I have my bangs three centimeters out of place! Three!"

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Theme song: (I wanna be famous

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"Welcome back to our show where we are about to meet our contestants for the first time." stated Chris flashing his pearly smile. "and speaking of our first contestant here he comes!"

As Chris stated that a small bus pulled up ad a bunch of old people and a young guy that looked to be about sixteen stepped off. He had short tidy brown hair just showing from under a backwards bright Red baseball cap with the Canadian flag on it, brilliant blue eyes, and a friendly smile on his face. He wore a white tank top and beige cargo pants. He was also holding a camera which was filming.

"Chris how does it feel to be on two Camera's at once?" he asked.

"great Josh! I'm just that amazing! And with a warm welcome I grant everyone the knowledge that this is Josh Aremac from Winnipeg Manitoba and obviously Canada."

"Great to be here, I'm going to rock this contest!" Cheered Josh happily.

"good now go stand over there where your driver placed your luggage." stated Chris pointing to Two medium sized Red suitcases just as another bus pulled up and a family got off and wandered towards a nearby yacht. The moment they left a sixteen year old girl stepped off the bus she had beautiful blond hair that reached her waist, freckles dotting her nose, sea blue eyes and had a camera hanging from her neck. She wore a baby blue T-shirt and skinny jeans. As she walked off Josh got a dreamy look on his face.

"look at this. Already." Chris Whispered to the cameraman and they both sniggered at Josh before Chris Spoke up. "welcome Kiarra from Selkirk Manitoba!"

"Great to be here Chris!" Kiarra stated before snapping a picture of Chris with a boom mike above his head and skipping towards Josh and merrily saying. "hi I'm Kiarra!"

"ughgughug..." Replied Josh geting a weird look from Kiarra.

"no time for Chitchat we must welcome our next contestant,Billy!" Chris stated as a eighteen year old tall boy with snakebite piercings walked off the same bus, he had dull green hair that was probably once in a Mohawk but had been brushed to the side, black eyes and wore a shirt too large for him and black ripped jeans. The moment he saw Kiarra his eyes lit up.

"welcome to the contest billy! Stated Chris happily smiling about how a love triangle had already formed between the first three contestants.

"I'm glad and I'm sure the ladies and everyone back home in Calgary are glad too!" billy stated before walking over towards the other two. "why hello what's your name?"

"Kiarra!" Kiarra stated completely oblivious to billy flirting with her.

"grmff!" stated Josh still unable to talk due to being in the presence of Kiarra. While the other two just stared at him blankly.

"I don't think he can talk" whispered Kiarra.

"poor guy." Billy said shaking his head in sorrow.

"And enough sympathy because straight out of Bathurst new Brunswick comes Elsa!" Chris stated as a black limo pulled up and pretty girl with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes stepped out wearing a teal dress and green headband.

"say hello to your rich and beautiful winner of total drama, Elsa!" Elsa stated.

"I know I like ladies but that's the kind of thick head you don't want to date." billy stated while Kiarra started giggling.

"welcome to total drama Elsa! Hoping to make it to the merge." Chris stated

"wait there's like a merge! OMG! I like totally love putting two things together" Elsa squealed while totally not getting the point.

"yeah, yeah, go mingle and make room for the next contestant." Chris stated.

"mingle?"

"just go over there!" Chris yelled flailing his arms as another large bus pulled up.

"like hi I'm like totally Elsa." Elsa said.

"like..." Kiarra began her eye twitching.

"...totally" Billy finished before they both burst out laughing.

"grrrmg..." Josh stated attempting to talk.

"like what's his like problem. Is he a loser or something." Elsa asked.

"we think he's mute or something." Billy answered wiping a tear from his eye.

"I never like asked you ugly!" Elsa retorted for no reason while Billy looked at the ground sadly.

"enough bickering because straight out of the small albertan city of grand prairie comes Emily!" Chris interrupted as a fifteen year old girl with pale blond hair, sea green eyes, and light blue metallic glasses walked off a bus that had just pulled up, she wore a Cyan hoodie and jeans, while a book that read Pendragon: The lost city of Faar was tucked under her arm.

"hello everyone!" Emily stated in a shy voice in an attempt to be friendly with her unfamiliar contestants.

"welcome to the cruise Emily, I'm sure you will get along just fine with everyone!" stated Chris.

"I am like never going to be friends with a nerd!" Elsa yelled at Chris."except maybe her." said Chris.

"hi I'm Emily." Emily stated shyly.

"we like totally know dumb*bleep*!" Elsa stated rudely while grabbing Emily's book. "oh a fantasy book, not a fashion magazine, boring! Just like you!"

Emily gasped as Elsa chucked her book in the water and took out a cellphone. Josh realizing that he had not made a good impression yet ran to the water and grabbed Emily's soaked book and brought it back.

"aww your sweet." Kiarra stated before pecking Josh on the Cheek while Billy had an approving look on his face and Emily looked thankful. Elsa though, Kept texting.

"time to welcome our next contestant Erin!" Chris stated after watching how everyone so far was hating Elsa.

"yahoo!it's time to enjoy the ride and make new friends and prove that just because you're from a small town like fairview doesn't mean you can't go far!" Erin Cheered while jumping out of the bus and taking his luggage from the driver instead of making him do it which seemed to surprise the driver. Erin had neat short Brown Hair an had Green eyes, he was quite handsome, and wore a red T-shirt and jeans.

"welcome Erin ready to make people unhappy?" Chris asked.

"no way! I hate bullying after being bullied since grade three I swore never to bully anyone. Now to meet my fellow shipmates yaar!" Erin stated.

"Hello everyone, are you ready for fun!" Erin said poetically. "you see what I did there, if I had longer sentences and 14 lines I'd have a shakespearian sonnet!"

At this Elsa rolled her eyes and ignored him. While Erin turned to Josh. "hey Hat Guy!"

Josh just stared at Kiarra blankly.

"oh we don't think he can talk." Billy responded.

"nah seems more like love induced trauma." Erin stated smartly before turning to Emily. "hey that's a really good book you have there.

"uh thanks." Emily replied blushing.

"Straight out of Montreal Quebec comes Brad Higgins our next contestant." Chris stated as a run down airport shuttle pulled up and a ugly boy with greasy black hair and dull dark blue eyes jumped out. He wore a brown T-shirt that was blurred out due to editing and grey sweat pants.

"ugh there are girls here, well this season's as lame as the last few." Brad stated looking at the six other contestant.

"hmm I don't think I need to introduce you, just go give those girls a piece of your mind." Chris stated while waiting for the drama to start.

"hey losers! Get lost, only guys should be able to compete in this game!" Brad yelled at the girls. "unlike you bunch of (bad word)s

"gasp"

"what!"

"waah!"

"boooo!" Billy booed.

"weak!" Erin yelled while patting Emily on the back trying to comfort her.

"what wrong with girls you jerk!" Billy growled while walking up to Brad.

"their stupid (bad word)y (bleep)s that deserve no nicer then (bleep)!" Brad yelled at the Jock who towered over him.

At that moment Emily ran up and kicked Brad really hard in the nuts.

"ooooh my nutter butters!" Brad squealed while clutching his private.

"whoa!" Billy said shocked.

"what a women!" Erin stated with that 'I love her look in his eyes.

"straight out of thunder bay Ontario comes our nerd Austin." Chris said referring to the overweight boy who had last gotten off of the run down shuttle before it drove away. He was of Chinese decent and had untidy black hair and eyes, he had a squint and wore glasses, besides that he wore a large shirt that read, keep calm and order pizza, and baggy cargo shorts.

"hey guys." Austin said in a very nasally voice while taking a puffer out of his pocket.

"hello Austin, welcome to the competition!" Chris said before leaning in and saying." But you might want to avoid Elsa and Brad you might catch stupid."

At this Austin walked over to his fellow competitors with a friendly smile on his face. "hi guys, anyone else here like algebra?"

"like no, I hate school and get my butler to do my work and like bribe my teacher for A's!" Elsa growled.

"at my school we use numbers instead of letters." Erin stated.

"I think most of Alberta does now." Billy said before fist pumping with Erin.

"Twits." growled Brad still on the ground which earned him another round of pain from Emily.

"am I the only normal one here!" said Elsa angrily. "we have a Nerd, a crybaby readsalot, an ugly doofus, a sexist, a mute, a dumb blond and worst of all there's happy-go-lucky idiotic Erin."

"I live in my own little world, but it's okay they know me here." stated Erin completely unaffected by Elsa's bullying. "it's you who's not normal, and maybe Brad, but mostly you!"

"sorry to interrupt but the next bus just arrived!" Chris yelled at the group smiling. "so welcome Derek from Victoria, BC."

The boy who stepped off the bus looked like a relaxed kid who got good grades without trying. He had short blond hair, chocolate brown eyes, and seemed to study them the moment he came off the bus, he looked weaker than the other guys and was built kinda like Erin. He wore a pink T-shirt with a red hoodie that was unzipped to show off his pink shirt while he wore blue jeans.

"hey Derek!" Chris said while Derek walked straight towards his competition.

"what are you gay?" Brad asked. "pink is feminine."

"real men wear pink, as my favorite shirt reads." Derek answered while gesturing to his shirt. "I'm a strategist."

"you like look stupid to me!" Elsa stated while pulling out her phone again.

"see I have a good strategy, I'm being nice, unlike you." Derek said blandly and Kiarra began to laugh while several others smirked seeing that someone knew how to put Elsa in her place.

"urgggh..." josh said attempting to communicate.

"can he not talk?" asked Derek.

"no it's love related Trauma." Erin answered.

"oh yes I remember suffering from that two years ago." Derek said. " I think we'll be good friends."

"be prepared because here comes Sandra from Regina, Saskatchewan!" Chris interrupted.

"I can has million?" asked the girl who had just stepped off the bus. She had blond hair, brown eyes that were kind of small and a stupid smile plastered on her face, she wore a hot pink cocktail dress and had her cellphone tucked in a rather revealing location.

"hello Sandra..." began Chris but Sandra cut him off by saying. "what with big boat?"

"that's a cruise sh..." Chris tried to answer but was just interrupted by Sandra running up to Elsa and grabbing her arm.

"you has phone too?" Sandra asked.

"uhhh yeah." Elsa answered.

"we best friends now!" Sandra stated.

"Uhhh why?"

"has phone too!"

Everyone was laughing at Sandra and Elsa at this point.

"haha stupid females!" shouted Brad before he got kicked in the nuts by Emily again. "my babies..."

"So do you speak proper English?" Elsa asked.

"what English?"

"never mind"

"hahahahaha, please welcome from Whitehorse, Yukon Roxanne!" Chris said nearly crying with laughter while a girl with dark skin walked off the bus, she had fine black hair done in a ponytail that was spiked up at the back, she had dark black eyes and sported a bottle of hand sanitizer in her hand. She wore a way too big yellow shirt overtop of her pink T-shirt so it looked as though she was wearing a short dress, and grey sweatpants.

"Ack germs!" she screamed after she touched the hand railing. She then continued to scrub the railing with a sponge and hand sanitizer. "I hate germs!"

This is err, Roxie everyone. Say hi and be nice." Chris said as Roxie approached him, pointed the sanitizer at his head and sprayed him in the eyes. "ahh what was that for!"

"it kills 99.99999999...% of germs and makes your eyes look shiny and attractive." Roxie said in a bored tone before approaching her fellow competitors who all backed away except for Erin.

"hi I'm Erin." Erin stated being friendly.

"sanitizer first!" Roxie said.

"AWSOME!" Erin cheered taking some before shaking hands with Roxie.

"great another girl." said Brad.

"naughty Sexist, dirty, unclean boy. I must sanitize you with the painful stuff." yelled Roxie pulling out a bottle of Super Pain Sanitization spray and attacking Brad with it.

"go Roxie go!" Cheered Emily.

"there all clean" said Roxie standing up.

"it burns." whined Brad.

"was that really necessary?" asked Kiarra.

"no, I just didn't like him." replied Roxie.

"high five!" cheered Kiarra as Roxie highfived her.

"ack germs!"

"enough crazy, welcome JC from Saskatoon Regina." Chris said as the last passenger of the bus got off, she had red hair and lavender eyes and looked quite strong. She wore a black T-shirt and blue skirt and had a hard look on her face.

"welcome Jacki... I mean JC." said Chris as he was picked up by the shirt by JC.

"hello fearful competitors." stated JC as she walked over to the others. "what are you all afraid of?"

"failing a test."

"spiders."

"no food."

"losing my book."

"being like poor."

"and that's why you will all lose because I'm not afraid of anything! I am superior." yelled JC.

"and stupid, ugly, unpopular, and not in my like good books." stated Elsa.

"I can has fear too?" Sandra asked.

"shut it little miss prissy!" said JC looming over Elsa.

"What's with all the jerks?" Billy asked Kiarra.

"dunno." Kiarra answered.

"I'm getting you eliminated!"

"not if I get you like eliminated like totally first!"

"can I be introduced now Chris?" asked a voice.

"Yes how about now." replied Chris. "everyone, Phobie, Phobie, Everyone."

Phobie looked like she came from a rich family due to her having a golden watch, well kept hair and her baggage was larger than anyone else's. She had long blond hair and green eyes, and she wore a purple T-shirt and green sweater that was unzipped and wore jeans and a brown backpack with both straps on he shoulders.

"hi everyone." Phobie said kindly and waved at them.

"back atcha." responded Derek with a smile.

"girl are you a fashion disaster or what. Like wearing both straps is so last century!" Elsa yelled at Phobie.

"you could be a bit nicer!" Austin said looking up at Elsa.

"shut up loser!" Elsa growled.

"oh I don't mind the spoilt brat!" said Phobie Cheerfully.

"oh great another (bad word)y girl to add to the idiocy!" growled Brad.

"someone needs more sanitizer!" Roxie yelled.

"noooo!" yelled Brad running at full speed away from Roxie.

"okaaaaay that was wierd." Phobie stated.

"Oh he deserves it!" Billy said. "need that backpack put with the luggage?"

"yes please." answered Phobie.

In the background Roxie had tackled Brad and was spraying his eyes with sanitizer as another bus pulled up and Chris introduced the first kid off of it. "everyone welcome Bree from Yellowknife northwest territories!"

Bree looked wierd, he was standing there picking his nose while his disgusting red hair covered his right eye, he had gross looking brown eyes and wore a T-shirt that read: sarcasm, free of charge and brown dirty shorts with a large brown stain on the rear.

"hello Bree are you ready to set sail?" asked Chris.

"Yes, but I want to go Nooow!" whined Bree in a voice that made several contestants irritated.

"you have to wait."

"Hmmmph."

"i don't like this guy." whispered Billy to Kiarra.

"I think we all agree." Kiarra said in response.

"hi everyone, do you want a booger?" asked Bree.

"no thanks."said Austin politely.

" suit yourselves." Bree said and began eating his nuggets.

"ewww!" shrieked Elsa.

"gross eat nose kid!" said Sandra still hugging Elsa's arm.

Chris smiled and the said." now let's welcome Paul from St. John's Newfoundland."

Paul had dark skin, very short black hair, black eyes and wore glasses, he wore a green sweater with a beaver on it as well as board shorts and he was skinny and had no muscle.

"welcome to the game Paul!" said Chris enthusiastically.

"hi everyone!" said Paul completely ignoring Chris. "I'm so glad to be here!"

"you're way nicer than some people." said Derek walking forward and shaking hands with Paul.

'I'll backstab him later' Paul thought to himself, 'he seems friendly enough.' "thanks, I was kinda expecting everyone to be jerks."

"nope only two jerks so far." said Emily as Roxie walked up to the group.

"Yeah, Brad and Elsa!" Said Roxie with a smile. "he'll be in pain for a while now."

"nice to meet you Paul, want a booger?" asked Bree.

"no thanks."

"ah come on." Whined Bree.

"Excuse the interruption but can we hurry up please? We only have a 22 minute block on TV!" Chris yelled at them. "now moving on to Tyson from Edmonton Alberta."

At that moment Tyson climbed out of the bus and stood next to Chris. He had short dirty blond hair, deep blue eyes, braces, and tons of muscle. He wore martial arts clothing with the sleeves ripped off and had a black belt wrapped around his black belt.

"I am Tyson. Hoha!" yelled Tyson as he threw two hard punches at nothing.

"finally a guy that believes that women suck!" yelled Brad.

"women suck?! Haha, you act like a little girl, that is also a baby!" stated Tyson in his awesome sounding voice.

"women still suck!" Brad stated.

"you insult women when my master was a women, so you are insulting me! Hyaaah!" yelled Tyson charging at full speed and upper cutting Brad who flew into the water. "never underestimate that I have punches!"

"ugh too masculine." Elsa said.

"punch!" yelled Tuson as he punched Elsa's phone into the water.

"hey!"

"punch!" yelled Tyson punching her to the ground.

"ouch"

"kick!" yelled Tyson kicking Elsa into the water

"ooh drama." Chris stated happily. "now welcome straight out of Charlottetown P.E.I comes Mark our next contestant!"

Mark was a skinny, no a very skinny underweight teen with curly brown hair and green eyes, he wore glasses, a blue T-shirt with a picture of a space invader on it, and black jeans. He was currently holding a iPhone in his hands and tapping repetitively.

"hello Mark!" Chris stated happily.

"Meh." Mark replied.

"Go mingle." Chris said.

"fine!" Mark replied walking over to his competition.

"hi I'm Tyson. Hoha!" Tyson yelled while punching the air again.

"Your brain has been messed with by Aliens!" screamed Mark.

"wait, what?" asked Tyson lowering his hands.

"all muscle no brains!" stated Mark. "the sign of alien presence!"

"you're freaking me out dude." said Billy backing away.

"I'm not dumb." said Tyson.

"naughty boy, insulting the kind boy who got rid of the meanie heads." said Roxie pointing to where Elsa and Brad were climbing out of the water. "do I need to sanitize you?"

"what?" asked Mark lowering his IPhone so that everyone could see that he was playing minecraft.

"DO I NEED TO SANITIZE YOU?!" yelled Roxie.

"I get 90's in every class, I'm not dumb." said Tyson to himself again.

"Enough bickering and welcome Parry!" Chris interrupted as a short guy stepped off the bus, he had a blond mullet and blue eyes as well as that 'hey ladies look on his face', he wore a green long sleeved shirt that was blurred due to it being offensive to women and skinny jeans.

"hey ladies!" said Parry making a turn for his competition.

"oh great a womanizer." said billy which made Kiarra giggle.

"ah so you are attracted to me." said Parry.

"wait. What?!" asked Kiarra.

"you laughed at me so you like me!" said Parry flashing a yellow smile. "give me a kiss."

"no screw off you pervert!" yowled Kiarra.

"I already hate this guy." said Elsa still dripping.

"aww did I make you wet?" asked parry in a perverted way.

"no, Tyson pushed me into the water so SCREW OFF!" yelled Elsa.

"dude it's not cool to treat women like play things... What are you doing to Emily?" asked Erin.

"Stop sniffing my hair! Perv!" Screamed Emily.

"Not cool man." Growled Bree.

"Women suck!" yelled brad after that but Emily, Roxie and Tyson all charged at him. "Mommy!"

"Ahaha now welcome Gabrielle from Ottawa!" said Chris happily.

Gabrielle had dark Blue hair, green eyes, black lipstick, and wore black jeans with rips in them and a black tank top.

"let's get this over with." said Gabrielle blandly.

"eww like another total drama loser." Elsa said glaring at Gabrielle.

"what was that, you stuck up snob?" asked Gabrielle.

You are a class two individual aren't you?"

"what?"

"You know class one would be a popular, rich, beautiful person like me, while a class two would be an ugly, stupid, unpopular, bullied, oh and like totally gothic girl like you!" Elsa sneered back.

"humph!"

"buzz off."

"hi I'm Erin!" said Erin in an attempt to be friendly.

"leave me alone!" snapped Gabrielle.

"oh this is great for ratings! But we must welcome contestant number 20 who comes from Halifax Nova Scotia. here's Vera!" Chris said as a big bus pulled up.

"hey guys." said Vera happily.

"hey."

"hi."

"What's up."

"great another woman, OW!"

"pssh get like lost!"

"don't mind those two." said billy happily. "they're the jerks."

"that's what you think." Paul muttered under his breath so no one would hear him.

"nice to meet you Vera." said Derek happily shaking her hand.

"how often do you use hand sanitizer?" asked Roxie.

"uhhh whenever I touch something dirty." answered Vera while Parry started snickering but was punched by Tyson, knocking him out cold.

"sick minded pervert!" yelled Tyson in his ever so awesome voice.

"booger?" asked Bree.

"okay quit asking us if we want boogers you sicko!" yelled Kiarra.

"I hate you all." muttered Gabrielle.

And now welcome straight out of Sudbury Ontario comes our hippie..." Chris began.

"Fearful Hippie!" interrupted JC.

"fine, our fearful hippie Deek!" finished Chris as a reek filled the air and a stoned looking guy stepped off the bus. He had long brown hair held up by a tie dyed headband, glazed blue eyes, and a dopey look plastered on his face. He also wore a tie dyed T-shirt and jeans.

"I respect the universe for its almighty powers." said Deek.

"hey Hippie go stand by Parry, Elsa, Brad, and Bree, a stoner will complete the collection!" yelled JC.

"ok." said Deek.

"smell weird boy does!" said Sandra stupidly.

"its called weed, and I smoke it for the universe." responded Deek calmly.

"aroo?" quizzed Kiarra.

"the universe doesn't work like that." said Austin.

"shut your mouth, Non believer!" yowled Bree.

"this contest is going to be interesting!" said Erin.

"enough with the stoner and let's introduce Brutus from Vancouver BC!" Chris interrupted as a mean looking boy stepped off the bus, walked over Chris and punched him in the gut.

"oof." grunted Chris.

Brutus had black hair and green eyes. He wore a green T-shirt and black shorts, he had lots of muscles and a mean look on his face.

"hey losers, are you ready to feel pain!" said Brutus who kicked Bree making him Squeal like a pig. "hahaha!"

"yeesh another jerk! Really!" said Billy.

"and you had better be ready for it cuze I'm your worst nightmare!" growled Brutus.

"moving on..." began Chris.

"I'm not done yet!" roared Brutus.

"I like the game Totally Awesome, which sucks, more than this guy!" growled Mark.

"shut up weakling!" growled Brutus giving Mark a wedgie.

"mommy." squeaked Mark.

"and now welcome our not-so-happy-to-be-here contestant Natasha!" Introduced Chris.

"Nooooooooo! I don't wanna go!" screamed a girl who was being dragged out of a bus by two interns she had long waist length red hair and beutiful blue eyes.

"ooooh a ginger! This should be fun!" growled Brutus.

"actually her hair is more of a copper than a ginger." stated Austin smartly but Brutus grabbed his glasses and threw them in the water.

"welcome natasha!" said Chris to Natasha who was now frozen in place by his side.

"why did she audition?" asked Elsa.

"she didn't, her bullies tied her up and had an audition with lots of photoshopping and voice editing for her." said Chris with a smile while an intern pushed Natasha to the group.

"uhhh... Hi. Please dont hurt me!" yowled Natasha flinching suddenly.

"I won't hurt you, if I hurt anyone it will be BRAD!" yelled Tyson scaring Natasha.

"don't worry he's nice after you get to know him... Hey." yelped Emily as Brutus pushed her out of the way.

"where's your soul ginger? Oh right you don't have one! Hahaha!" laughed Brutus causing Natasha to pale more.

"her hair is COPPER! God are you stupid or something!" growled Austin.

"she's a girl, girl's don't belong!" yelled Brad.

"hrrrah!" yelled Tyson charging at Brad.

"I love this!" exclaimed Chris happily. "now welcome our next contestant from the middle of the saskatchewan bush comes Petal."

Petal had long brown hair in a ponytail, and green eyes, she had an iguana in her shoulder and wore a brown jacket and jeans.

"whats up." greeted Petal.

"the sky." grinned Bree which earned him a nasty glare from Josh.

"oh great another girl what are we a democracy that believes in woman rights?" asked Brad sarcastically.

"of course we are dumb(bleep)!" growled Gabrielle.

"I didn't ask you!"

"you basically did!"

"come and say that to my face!"

"sure why not!"

"OW! OW! OW!"

"this is going to be a long cruise." Erin stated.

"yes, yes it is." answered petal.

"I bet he gets eliminated first!" grinned Brutus.

"i'm sure he will." answered Natasha.

"now our time is limited guys we only have 15 minutes of showtime left and have to welcome 16 more contestants to the game and show you around!" exclaimed Chris. He had been lying they were getting an hour long block on TV. He just wanted them irritated. "now welcome contestant number 25 Jacob!"

Jacob raced out of an airport shuttle and smiled at his competition. He had black hair and dark green eyes and was studying everyone closely, he wore a beige T-Shirt with a knife on it and shorts. He instantly dashed up to Deek and stated: "you shall be my ally, I shall backstab you later though."

"cool story Bro!" said Deek who was obviously high.

"you!" stated Jacob pointing at JC. "do you trust me?"

"uhh... Yes?" said JC questionably.

"Excellent!" Jacob replied rubbing his hands together evilly. "Mwahahahahahahahaha!"

"Awkward." Billy said in a high pitched voice.

"I shall backstab you all!" yelled Jacob.

"well actually you can only backstab up to 38 of us total." Austin stated.

"Liar!"

"wait. Wha?"

" I will backstab you all!"

"hey! The next contestant is here!" yelled Chris. "please welcome Norman!"

Norman approached the group with a curious look on his face. He looked strong and fit and had brilliant green eyes and raven black hair, he wore swimming trunks and a surf shirt.

"ooh a hunk 3!" said Elsa.

"anyone up for swimming?" asked Norman in a deep booming voice.

"no but Brutus threw my glasses in the water if you want to go get them." said Austin.

"sure little buddy." answered Norman who jumped into the water and emerged mere seconds later with Austin's glasses.

"thanks!" thanked Austin.

"goody two shoes!" grunted Brutus.

"don't pick on the nice guy you jerk!" yelled Petal.

"grunt." grunted Josh in another attempt to communicate.

"uhh did he just grunt?" asked Petal and some of the others who hadn't heard josh make a sound yet.

"it's his love induced trauma." Erin and Derek said at the same time.

"well who's causing it?" asked JC.

It was so silent you could hear a pin drop from a mile away.

"moving on." said Chris hoping that a new person would spark some more drama. "please welcome our next contestant Renee from Fairview Alberta!"

"hey Renee I didn't know you auditioned too!" Exclaimed Erin as a girl who looked to be about fifteen approached them. She had natural orange hair, green eyes and a braces filled smile, she wore a pink sweater and light blue jeans.

"wait you two know eachother?" asked Paul.

"of course, we're in the same class and usually get stuck on projects together because no one likes to pick us." answered Erin.

"well she's better than the Sexist that's for sure, actually everyone's better than the sexist guy!" Brutus joked which earned him quite a few laughs and giggles out of everyone but Brad.

"nice one Brutus!" stated Natasha happily.

"no one asked for you opinion ginger!" growled Brutus.

"she has COPPER hair man, and plus it's physiologically impossible to survive without a soul." said Austin angrily.

"don't make me hit you." threatened Brutus.

"is he always that mean?" asked Renee.

"most of the time." answered Erin.

"What is with all the girls!" screamed Brad.

"you got a problem with women punk?" growled Renee.

"yes he does! Now can we keep this thing rolling people?" Chris yelled.

"yeah I guess."

"sure."

"why not?"

"only for twenty bucks."

"thank you, now we introduce Quin our workaholic!" greeted Chris.

When Quin stepped off the bus she stormed straight to Chris and began complaing.

"Chris do you realize that I had to skip three business meeting to be here! Three!" yowled the Workaholic.

Quin had short black hair and bags under her black eyes from lack of sleep, she wore a white dress shirt and tie with a black skirt.

"foof, go meet your fellow contestants." stated Chris.

"ok." responded Quin quickly.

"hi." said Renee happily.

"three billion on the line! That bull!" Quin said to no one in particular.

"uhh are you ok?" asked Kiarra.

"hello Mr. Jefferson can I file those reports?" quizzed Quin to no one.

"who?" asked Billy.

"Coffee break is in an hour Penelope!"

"I think she's crazy." said Bree.

"I think she's just acting like girls usually do." stated Brad.

"you need PAIN!" roared Tyson.

"eep!" squealed Brad.

"aww not enough drama. Maybe this person Will stir things up, please welcome Natalie!"

Natalie stepped out of a limousine and waltzed over to Chris who introduced her. "and natalie ought a spice things up!"

Natalie was a rich girl with dark brown hair, golden eyes and wore short shorts and a small pink tank top. She glanced at her competition and walked over to Elsa who was desperately trying to rid her clothes of wrinkles.

"what are you doing?" asked Natalie.

"trying to fix these wrinkles that Tyson caused." answered Elsa simply.

"who's Tyson?"

"I AM!" roared Tyson at Brad. "of course I believe women are men's equals."

"that's Tyson?" asked Natalie.

"yes of course. He's just beating Brad for saying women suck. He's actually helpful. He knocked out the pervert over there." answered Elsa pointing at Parry who was still unconscious. "now prepare for the onslaught."

"hi." said Kiarra. "where are you from?"

"planet earth dip(bleep)" growled Bree with his voice full of sarcasm.

"ah shuddup Bree, no one likes you." Taunted Brutus.

"yea my mom does." retorted Bree angrily.

"who else?" asked Brutus.

"ummm, oh just shut up!" screamed Bree.

No one noticed Paul smiling the whole time.

"and now we must welcome Fiona!" Chris stated happily as a tall girl stepped out of another Limo. She had light green eyes an red hair, and a look of disgust on her face. She wore an expensive black dress and had lots of jewelry.

"why hello underlings. I'm here so you should all just let me enjoy my free cruise." Fiona said delicately while Chris an the camera crew sniggered.

"I'm not like your underling, I'm like totally your overlord!" screamed Elsa.

"no you aren't."

Oh no you DIDN'T!" yowled Elsa before the two began to slap fight.

"girls can't we all just get along and respect the universe?" asked Deek walking inbetween them. The two paused for three seconds and then began slap fighting again with Deek in the middle of it.

"And here comes contestant number 31 Carl!" Chris exclaimed happily which got a few people worried.

Carl leaped out of the bus and fell flat on his face. When he stood again the others got a clear look at him. He was skinny, had a small rat stash, dirty blond hair, and crazed islander eyes. And he wore an old pair of overalls and that was all (literally!).

"eh I'm just an old man looking for the bar!" growled Carl even though he was fifteen.

"wait what does that even mean?" asked JC.

"and your rat stash, please what do you think this is?" asked Elsa.

"it'd be movember young lassie!" yelled Carl.

"it's July Carl." said Austin.

"no it'd be november on mars!" yowled Carl suddenly running forward and poking Parry with his finger.

"who wha, ow my head." grunted Parry jolting awake. "holy (bleep) many more girls than before!"

"can't manage all meetings mr. Lund" muttered Quin. "here let me do them for you, what I get a raise?"

"hey babe." grinned Parry.

"oh leave her alone!" growled Emily

"never!" yelled Parry standing up and tapping Quin's shoulder.

"who, what, where!" yelped Quin. "this isn't Mr. Jefferson's office!"

"no but I'm here." said Parry winking.

"eek he's hideous!" yelled Quin smacking Parry across the face.

"mean boy slapped did!" exclaimed Sandra.

"moving on!" said Chris. "Please Be dramatic with the intro of Flint from Hamilton!"

Flint walked off the bus eating a whole pizza that was folded so it could fit in his oversized mouth. He had red hair done in a bowl cut and brown eyes. He wore a large red Muscle shirt that showed off his large stomach and cargo shorts.

"eh everyone eyegh abh myg mougth full right nowg." said Flint while still chewing his entire pizza.

"is it even possible to fit that much food in your mouth at once." asked Vera.

"apparently so." trailed Austin.

"he will eat us all!" screamed Carl.

"no I'm far too nice to do that!" stated Flint pulling out a chocolate bar and tossing it in his mouth, wrapper and all. "omgh oh that's goob."

"okaaaaay..." trailed Emily.

"well this is almost as awkward as when Bree offered us Boogers." stated Brad.

"moving on since the drama has stopped we now welcome Ira to the craziness!" Chris welcomed as a brown haired girl with green eyes that was wearing a Red sleeveless top and short shorts walked out of the bus an tripped falling on her face.

"oh my god, I must help her!" yelled Tyson, charging towards her and kneeling down. "here let me help you."

Ira glanced up and saw a white light glowing around a guy in front of her holding out his hand and he then said: "hey, don't leave me hanging."

"umm er, thanks." muttered Ira blushing.

"hurry up you two!" yelled Chris. "we have seven more people to introduce and only a few minutes to do so!"

"sorry" growled Tyson walking back to the group.

"hi guys... Whoops!" yelped Ira as she tripped over nothing.

"sigh, this is going to be a long cruise, but good thing I'm only going to see you during challenges!" exclaimed Fiona.

"oh just wait..." said Chris slyly.

"Hey Chris! When do we get to use the confessional?" asked Austin.

"after I show it to you!" Chris yelled back.

"ugh I have so much to say right now." Elsa muttered.

"I say things too!" said Sandra stupidly.

"yeah, yeah just welcome Via! No Sandra not Vera, Via." explained Chris as Sandra shook Vera's hand.

"oh." said Sandra stupidly.

"who's ready to party folks!" yelled Via happily.

"not me, parties melt your brain and cause people to become alcoholics and do the ugly thing." explained Erin. "what? Am I the only one here that doesn't have the party gene?"

"just another reason why he's a loser. "Stated Elsa.

"what weirdo doesn't party." asked Via.

"I'm not a weirdo and I'm probably twice as mature as most of you." Erin said unaffected by the bullying.

"I feel bad for Erin, bullying just bounces right off him, he must of had some harsh treatment during school." Billy whispered to Emily.

"Even I've gone to a party and I'm half as cool as him." Emily whispered back.

"I'll ask him about it later. I think he trusts me despite how I look." Billy responded.

"And now we welcome Bebe!" Chris said cheerfully as a girl with long pink hair, dark blue eyes, black glasses, that was wearing a pink dress staggered out of the coach.

"When do we *hic* get more *hic* alcohol?" asked Bebe.

"That would be illegal, so no Alcohal for you Bebe." Chris responded.

"Awww." whined Bebe.

"Hi Bebe do you like partying?" asked Via.

"do parties have *hic* Alcohal?" asked Bebe.

"uhh yes."

"then you *hic* answered your own *hic* question."

"Alcohal be good?" asked Sandra.

"yes it's the best thing on earth." answered Fiona.

"And you shouldn't drink it until you're legal age." stated Erin.

"Well I hope this loser goes first." taunted Via.

"hey babe." said Parry winking at Bebe.

"leave the woman alone!" screamed Tyson chasing Parry away.

"too many idiotic women here." scowled Brad.

"Sanitizer time fool!" yelled Roxie.

"noooo!" screamed Brad as Roxie began spraying sanitizer up his nose.

"gosh we have a lot of drama here." stated Derek.

"and moving on to Wallace." said Chris happily as an extremely muscular guy walked out. He was an Italian guy with brown hair and blue eyes he wore a tank top that showed off his hairy chest and black dress pants.

"So who wants to play sports!" grunted the big guy with a smile.

"ooh martial arts or hockey!"

"swimming"

"minecraft!"

"Mark buddy video games aren't sports." stated Billy.

"Then why do we have Wii Sports? And plus Minecraft is a sport to vampires!" retorted Mark angrily.

'this game just keeps on getting weirder. I hope I just don't have to be on a team with some of them' Paul thought to himself.

"And now this game will get way better with this next person!" Chris said as a bus pulled up and people ran out of it screaming. "here's Ashley!"

Ashley was the biggest person anyone had ever seen, and I don't mean tallwise I mean she was so fat that when JC yelled "beached whale, beached whale!" that the description fit her. Besides being fat, Ashely had short greasy disgusting green and blue hair, her face was covered in every piercing imaginable, she wore broken glasses over her bloodshot eyes, and held a phone in hand. She also wore a "fatshirt" that hid her enormous belly from sight, and sweat pants because she couldn't wear jeans.

"what a bunch of losers you guys are!" yelled ashley in a voice that sounded like a man trying to talk like a woman.

"eww what a fatty!" exclaimed Elsa.

"oh someone missed their manicure didn't they? You (bleep)ing (bleep)!" growled ashley. "oh look a ginger!"

"She has copper hair you idiot!" growled Austin.

"ohh what are you going to do about it nerd." growled Ashley grabbing Austin's puffer and stomping on it.

"My puffer!"

"Your a jerk, he needs that!" Yelled Kiarra.

"Shuddup Blondie! Go and die hilariously! I'll get a new blond joke out of it!" laughed Ashley cruelly.

"women suck!" yelled Brad.

"You suck!" said Ashley being completely unoriginal.

"I hate her too." growled Gabrielle.

"don't worry I'll just cause you pain!" smiled Ashley while she pounded her fist into her hand.

"can't we all just get along?" asked Ira.

"no. And now it's your turn. Your adopted and your parents never loved you! So go die in a hole you (Bleep)!" taunted Ashley while Ira just looked at the ground sadly which made Ashley laugh. "ahahahahaha!"

"YOU ARE NASTY!" Roared Tyson.

"YOU NEED SANITIZER!" yelled Roxie.

"No I don't but I think he does!" growled Ashley who spat on Roxie.

"ARRRG EVIL GERMS!" Yowled Roxie Dropping her Super Pain Sanitization spray and Ashley bent over and picked it up.

"Oops you dropped this! Take this muscle boy!" yelled Ashley spraying Tyson in the eyes with it.

"Aargh! IT BURNS!" yowled Tyson running around in circles flailing his arms.

"Oh this is so great for ratings." said Chris happily as Tyson smacked into Parry, fell over and began rolling around clutching his eyes.

"Wow, how long has she been here?" asked a chubby boy next to Chris who had bright blue hair, bloodshot green eyes, and wore ugly bleached jeans and a T-shirt depicting a heavy metal band.

"30 seconds."

"Cool I guess I'll just go cause more problems."

"Go right ahead."

"hey losers who wants a round of taunting?" asked Luis.

"no one dumb(Bleep)!" yelled Elsa. "As if Ashley and Brutus weren't enough!"

"yeah just screw off!" growled Bree before Ashley Wedgied him. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeek!"

"Join the party!" yelled Via.

"I hate you all even more." growled Gabrielle.

"I hate Monday's." growled Brad.

"Don't hate Monday. If it didn't exist you'd hate Tuesday." stated Erin smartly.

"I want to talk to you when we get aboard the ship." whispered Derek quietly.

"Just me and you?" Erin whispered back.

"No grab a few of the nicer people that are by themselves, like Roxie and Emily. I'm going to try to get Tyson in as well." answered Derek quietly.

"Sure thing buddy."

"now please can we get this over with." growled Chris. "we have two more contestants to welcome and then I'll show you the confessional!"

"fine."

"sure."

"whatever."

"only for twenty bucks!"

"Thank you. Now to introduce Opal!" Chris said as a pretty girl with Brown hair and Brown eyes stepped off of a bus and looked at her competition nicely, she wore a shirt that showed off her midriff and a short skirt.

"Hello everyone." Opal greeted in a cheerful voice.

"Hi." greeted Vera walking up and shaking hands with Opal.

"ugh like another friendly dumb(Bleep)." growled Elsa.

"how about you leave her alone!" yelled Billy.

"I can has new friend?" asked Sandra stupidly.

"no just ignore the dimwit." growled Elsa.

"Fine I dislike you too." retorted Opal walking over to Natalie. "Hi pleased to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." replied Natalie before dropping her voice to a whisper. "Talk to me on the ship okay."

"I was having the exact same thought." Opal whispered back with an evil smirk.

"okay lets get this over with already!" whined Chris and without waiting for a response he welcomed the next contestant. "here's Bruce. C'mon let's go already!"

"Fine!" growled a Intern.

"hi guys!" said Bruce in a nasally voice, he had greasy blond hair, garbage colored eyes and wore a beige T-shirt and dirty shorts.

"sup."

"hi."

"Eeew."

"what does he look like? I can't see right now!"

"it'll wear off in ten minutes due to the dosage."

"wanna booger?"

"do I!" yelled Bruce excitably.

"ewww!"

"gross!"

"I like hate him now."

"let's move people we have a time limit!" yelled Chris from one of the cargo ramps.

"Wait how did you afford a Cruise ship?" asked Austin.

"we own a multimillion dollar franchise, so what do you think! In the ship now so we can make money off the passengers!" Chris answered as the teens entered the SS. Chris is really hot. "and we're about to go to commercial break! So don't go away because we're about to start. Total! Drama! Ocean! Cruise!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading this 9000 word part of day 1.**

**Anyway, so do you have a favorite, a least favorite? Vote for one on my profile page poll.**

**Next time: the teens are shown the ship, get a shocking surprise and load passengers!**


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